Faith

To some people Faith is just a word. Something you hear on occasion, but not something that too much weight is put into. It can be used as a name or it can be used to express a hope, a foundation, a relationship with God. For many, belief in something bigger than themselves.

Sometimes it's so easy to get caught up in life and all that it brings you. Good, bad or ugly, we have a tendency to let the daily happenings dictate what we do or say. We kind of use the "fly by the seat of our pants" approach to basic, as well as, major decisions. We start and end our days no different.

For almost half my life now I have had a prime focus. That is to do what I felt was the best decision, God's Will, whether it was what I personally wanted or not. I've done my best to yield to my relationship with the Lord. To try to listen and direct my steps in a path that He led me. I never expected that the path was going to be free of bumps, barriers or mountains. I certainly hoped that it would be easier than not, but all I really was concerned with was the clarity with which I saw the road ahead. The amount of light that was shown to me.

I know that at times, I have ventured off this path. I've chosen to "rest" in places that certainly weren't designed for it and I've questioned "why this way and not that?". But some time ago I came to the realization that I don't tick appropriately without divine guidance. The times in my life that God has chosen to distance Himself from me a bit, have felt a great deal like what a fish out of water must feel. Just constantly grasping for something that's just out of reach. I know as in everyone's life God must pull back at times. It's no different than in trying to raise our own children. When one technique to insight positive change doesn't work, we try another, and when that doesn't work we keep trying.

I can't imagine the pain that he must feel when we forget to thank him or raise our hands up to him. You know that old saying, "I brought you into this world, I can take you out", well, in reality that only applys to the man himself. Yet he is so graceful that he is willing to invite us in even when we have been so ill-focused.

Certainly I have made decisions or chosen ideals that others may disagree with or may believe make me seem weak. But I don't live my days to carry concern about how man thinks of me. I know that there is purpose in my life. I know that some reason exists that I am here. I believe in my holy Father and streets of gold. I believe that there is a room in his house for me and I want to earn the privelage to reside there. God hasn't granted me the easiest life. I have had a great share of difficulties and challenges and times of frustration. But when I come out of those moments of despair I always see light. I can hear him saying, "It's all going to be okay, I love you and I am here." Those emotions put me right back to the times I scraped a knee and my parents were showering me with love and tenderness. Something as simple as a bandaid and kiss made it all better. And you know with Faith, life as an adult does not have to be any different.

The truth is; that with all of us, he is waiting. Peacefully hoping that we will come to Him. He wants each of us to know His love, to know Him personally. To walk in His garden. All we have to do is turn off the noise in our lives, the commotion and control that we think makes us and listen. He is there. The one guarantee. The one thing that will never fail. There is promise in Him. There is assurance that all things will work out.

Faith to me is a gift. I have been so blessed to know it personally. To fully understand His love. Recently I found a small statue, a frog. To be more precise the frog Prince. I fell in love with it immediately. But me being me I didn't want to spend the money. A week or so later I had to go back to that store for something else and it was still there. I stared at it. Wondering what the draw for me was. Suddenly it was transparently clear. FROG - Fully Relying On God. And a memory of a line from a song I sang to myself over and over while dressing for my father's funeral almost 8 years ago. "You have been my King of Glory, Won't you be my Prince of Peace?" - I bought my frog. He stands proudly on my mantle with his hands together and his eyes fervently watching. He is a daily reminder of how gracious God has been to me. A reminder that in times of pleasure and sorrow I must seek and glorify Him and Him only.

My Faith is ever present. I have my highs and lows, but I hold a love song for a Savior in my heart. And it sings so loudly in my spirit every day. I have a lot of work to do and so much to learn, but I pray that I know the Peace that only the Good Lord can bring. I sincerely hope that when I pass, my loved ones know, without question, that I am not lost, I was found, and I clearly see. I will dance in the presence of the Lord. I will see the crystal sea and I will sing with the voice that is in me.