Sunday, February 3, 2008


When you find faith, discover how it exists in your soul, it is so easy to take for granted the things that go with it. Trust is one of them. This was an area that I have always felt very comfortable with, never considered myself to be too distrustful or untrustworthy - almost more naive then anything. But I have come to realize that the real test to faith is that leap. Certainly over the years I have dealt with situations that have made me feel this way. Those times have only brought me closer to God. Right now I am faced with a cliff so sharp my feet wain on the edge. Literally speaking, my stability is horrible, to close my eyes while standing in church during prayer I have to grasp the row in front of me to stand myself. So trusting myself physically is tough......this time though, I am closing my eyes and putting my arms out.......I am doing all that I can to believe that if I fall, if my feet lose their balance on that cliff I will be well. I am putting the outcome into God's hands. It's the realization that He is the only person, short of yourself and even more then yourself, that has your best interests at heart.

It's a tough thing to do, trust and wait. I have been reminding myself of Bella's life verse a great deal lately -
Hebrews 11:1 - Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see.

I'm trying! Every day that is in my head reminding me.....I am turning myself over every morning and working on myself to wait, patiently! I CAN say, without question, that I am standing. I may stumble, but I am standing.

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